M: The most awesome mangling of TGC's plot *ever*

[Somewhat]

We got a pamphlet with vouchers from our video rental company today and it contains the most awesome plot synopsis of TGC ever.

A young student, Lyra Belacqua (Dakota Blue Richards), begins a mighty journey to save the universe after learning that a valuable microscopic particle is under attack. Based on the first book in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy [yes, trilogy is in italics], this is one adventure that will capture your imagination.
Cast: Nicole Kidman
Rating: PG
Mood: The Chronicles of Narnia

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or send angry letters.

[jasman71]

I think I'll do all 3, but not sure of which order. Maybe "the compass will show the way"?

[namster]

This should be put on all the covers. It's trippy.

[LauraHDM]

A valuable microscopic particle is under attack?

[jessia]

A valuable microscopic particle is under attack?

<cough>dust</cough>

[Philharmonic]

Well, I see a few things wrong in there.

1. Lyra doesn't learn Dust is 'under attack' until TAS, and even then it isn't really under attack, it's just leaking out of the worlds. If your bathwater was going down the plug hole it isn't under attack!

2. She never really sets out to save the universe (it's universes anyway), it was just to save a couple of her friends. After that happens she just sets out to find Dust, not save universes.

3. Cast: Nicole Kidman-and does Daniel Craig get a mention in this? Hmm? Or Sam Elliot or Eva Green? No. And I really think Dakota Blue Richards should have her name mentioned. What, does Kidman steal the show that much that she's the only one who gets a mention?

4. Mood-Chronicles of Narnia. OK, so it's in a different universe with talking animals, but apart from that, it is NOTHING LIKE Narnia.

[Roll_with_it]

Dat is well bad!

Honourable mentions:

A young girl travels north to find a magical powder and save the world

(The worst) An ordinary girl discovers a world where bears fight, witches fly and anything is possible.

[kincuri]

It sounds like they asked someone who'd read thetrilogy, got a rather sarcastic answer and went with it.

Well, I see a few things wrong in there.

4. Mood-Chronicles of Narnia. OK, so it's in a different universe with talking animals, but apart from that, it is NOTHING LIKE Narnia.

Don't forget the part about a girl hiding in a wardrobe!

[onehumaneye]

It's strange to see in the bonus materials how happy Pullman seems to be with this and how involved—and the enormous effort they put into making it so perfectly beautiful to look at and listen to. Most disturbing to me is the bogus ending in the little booklet that comes with it. Before I saw that I imagined that the real ending would begin the next film. But now, without the motivation that follows from the deaths of Billy and Roger, what's left? Hard to imagine where they plan to take the story next; maybe better not to think about it.

[Philharmonic]

Well, I see a few things wrong in there.

4. Mood-Chronicles of Narnia. OK, so it's in a different universe with talking animals, but apart from that, it is NOTHING LIKE Narnia.

Don't forget the part about a girl hiding in a wardrobe!

...oh yeah! And she got found by Asriel and nearly the master as well!

[kincuri]

It's strange to see in the bonus materials how happy Pullman seems to be with this and how involved—and the enormous effort they put into making it so perfectly beautiful to look at and listen to. Most disturbing to me is the bogus ending in the little booklet that comes with it. Before I saw that I imagined that the real ending would begin the next film. But now, without the motivation that follows from the deaths of Billy and Roger, what's left? Hard to imagine where they plan to take the story next; maybe better not to think about it.

what booklet is this? my copy didn't come with a booklet...

What you said reminds me however of a Golden Compass booklet that was sold with Cheerios here. There were three different ones, I have one, called "Iorek and the Gyptian Alliance".
I should have known, it says "adapted from the Major Motion Picture" on the cover, and as you can imagine it is filled with inaccuracies.
It is sad that New Line seems to be damaging the HDM story with poor quality promotional material

[Kyrillion]

It is sad that New Line seems to be damaging the HDM story with poor quality promotional material

Hey, a lot of those booky-wooks are more accurate to the source material than the film!

I'd say, it's sad that New Line seems to be damaging the HDM story with poor quality movie adaptations.

[onehumaneye]

what booklet is this? my copy didn't come with a booklet...

I'm in the U.S. and this is the 2 disk version. It comes with a little booklet called, The Story of the Movie.

http://store.scholastic.com/webapp/wcs/ ... 0052_10051

In it there is a tiny last chapter with pictures in it of Asriel hooking Roger up etc., so apparently they did film the end of TGC; their version of it anyway. It says that Roger's daemon exploded and ends with Lyra telling Pan that they will bring Roger back. So, in the movie, neither Billy nor Roger were known to die. So it becomes a less urgent story. This company, scholastic.com, seems to have other HDM books. I'm afraid to look.

[Pagdzin tulku]

Ha! At a church social group, there was a choice of three films, the Golden Compass being one of them. They described it as;
"A film about this guy who wants to do this stuff."

There was a vote on which one to watch and the Golden Compass lost.

[Roll_with_it]

A film about this guy who wants to do this stuff

You Win.

[Charon]

That is absolutely hilarious. I'm suprised TGC was even a candidate at a church group with all the slanderous negative hype. Were you at this group or did you just hear from a friend?

[Pagdzin tulku]

That is absolutely hilarious. I'm suprised TGC was even a candidate at a church group with all the slanderous negative hype. Were you at this group or did you just hear from a friend?

I was at the group. I was one of the very few people who voted for it.

[Northen_Lights]

A young student, Lyra Belacqua (Dakota Blue Richards), begins a mighty journey to save the universe after learning that a valuable microscopic particle is under attack. Based on the first book in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy [yes, trilogy is in italics], this is one adventure that will capture your imagination.
Cast: Nicole Kidman
Rating: PG
Mood: The Chronicles of Narnia

*struggles in vain to a stifle a laugh*

[kincuri]

Gah!

I was excited today to discover that my local paper (The Canberra Times) had The Golden Compass as their featured DVD review this week.

Frustratingly, it contains the line:

"We are introduced to the golden compass of the title the Alethiometer, a device banned by the Magisterium, which allows people to see between parallel worlds..."

where was Aletheia Dolorosa and her editing skills?!

It goes to add to the fact that people these days just don't listen...

[Luca]

Small person must take last-remaining epic item on a journey across strange lands where she will meet new companions, pursued by omniscient nefarious evildoers. No hobbits.